


A Wallmart Review

by Anonymous



Category: Original Work
Genre: Bad Fic, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:22:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25858108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: I wrote the worst sex scene I could. This is what came out.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Kudos: 3
Collections: Anonymous





	A Wallmart Review

"Oh baybee that is a sex penis right there!" I squealed, lying on my king sized red velet poster bed. I was wearing a red nightdress with sexy holes cut out at the boob area. I was wearing underwear with christmas snowmen with little hats on. I was like, one of those edgyptian goddesses. Aphrodite maybe.

"Aw shucks babe. Love to hear you say that!" He snorted, grunting like a wild beast. He was my hogman and he had the pork to prove it.

"Fuck me like one of your french girls!" I yelled, grabbing his tie (he was wearing a full suit) and ripped off his suit. He was now naked.

"Honey bear my pole is rock hard and I love your underwear where did you get them?"

"Oh just from my favorite shop of all time wallmart of course!" I cried, giving him sultry bedroom eyes.

He fell on top of me like a very sexy tree, and we made out. Our tongues battled for dominance, and his won the battle but mine came back with trebuchets to win the war.

It was 1509, both sides of the battlefield had merged into one grisly scene, bodies lying in puddles of piss, blood, and excrement.  
Knights fought each other with the frantic movements of wild beasts, yelling out warcries and screaming their fear. 

I was so fucking wet.

"Babe youve gotta put a baby in me when we're having christian married sex in the missionary position at nighttime with candles lit!" 

"You don't even have to tell me sugar plum fairy baby titties. I've got this"

He waved his penis around like a baton. I watched, dickmerized. It was so big at 20 inches thick and 2 inches long. It would be like reverse birth.

"Oogah boogah!" I yelled, my eyes popping out of my skull, and my jaw opening. 

"Yowsa! That's a real big pork hammer you've got there!" I screamed, gesturing towards my enterance, hoping he would get the hint. 

He didn't.

"Oh boy that sure is a real large one eyed old man! It sure would be nice to have it inside me!"  
He finally understood what I was asking for.

Sticking it up me like some kind of colonoscopy but in the front bc we're chaste, he yelled his warcry like the knights our tongues became.  
So fucking sexy!

"Ah babe you know I can only hold on for so long inside this amazing purple wallet of yours!" He screamed.

"Do it! Put your beef thermometer in my turkey! Fill me with your stuffing!"

He ejaculated all up in me. I yelled. He yelled. We make out more.

It was 1643 now. It had been a year since I had seen my family. All I could see around me were dead bodies, scattered like abandoned toy soldiers. Was this really worth it?

It sure was! I had his mancream shooting out of my hoohaa and it felt amazing. I had 10 orgasms and shook all over the place.  
We both fell asleep in the cum puddle.

10/10 would buy these underwear again, thanks wallmart!


End file.
